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Sitting in my lab has become increasingly difficult.

My lab, or more affectionately, “my room in the basement” has quickly turned into a “dark dungeon.” My parents joked about that recently, but it seems to be coming true.

Some of it is certainly tied to some of the restless feelings I’ve already expressed, but the changes I’ve gone through recently also play no small part.

Now, in a way, it’s hard to be anywhere right now. Because everywhere I go, there I am.

I don’t hate myself or anything. I’m just going through some stuff. And I’m going to feel what I feel right now no matter where I am. It’s good to embrace how you feel and not be the judge of it.

But the lab takes the cake in terms of places I don’t particularly want to be right now.

I moved in about three years ago. I didn’t see myself staying here forever. Maybe just until I met someone and got married or started earning six figures. I put my blinders on and got to work.

Well, in that time, I haven’t married and I haven’t built a six-figure business. I’m not even in the same business I was when I first arrived here!

But I have made progress. I’ve seen some great things happen in my life and my career. Some of my biggest victories actually took place in the lab. I don’t think I would even want to go back to who I was before. I’m a new person now, and the container can’t hold me.

That leaves me in limbo for the time being. An excruciating, heartbreaking limbo. The realization that I need to be somewhere else, but can’t move right away. I can only start heading in that direction.

I’m growing. I’m being stretched. I’m becoming the new me. And the container does not hold the new me. The life I was living is now too small for me.

If I hadn’t left home for two weeks, maybe I would not have come to this realization. But I am grateful for it, because maybe I’m being held back by my current location. Maybe moving will open new doors.

David Andrew Wiebe

David Andrew Wiebe has built an extensive career in songwriting, live performance, recording, session playing, production work, and music instruction. Today, he works as an online marketing strategist and consultant, helping companies create compelling content to develop relationships with their target market.

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